


A Stranger in the Night

by Chloepioneer



Category: Cody Ko/Noel Miller - Fandom, Noel Miller/Cody Ko - Fandom, TMG - Fandom, Tiny Meat Gang
Genre: Cody is homeless, Drug Use, M/M, Slow Burn, Strangers to Lovers, noel is sad
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-08
Updated: 2021-03-15
Packaged: 2021-03-14 20:53:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 10,965
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29922675
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Chloepioneer/pseuds/Chloepioneer
Summary: New York had made Noel possessive.
Relationships: Cody Ko/Noel Miller, Noel Miller/Cody Ko
Comments: 25
Kudos: 24





	1. Chapter 1

New York had made Noel possessive. Possessive of time, people, and space. In the six months Noel had been in New York, the city had been unkind to him. Its false promise of dreams and success had quickly become his apparent disillusions. He felt anonymous within in the city, lost amongst the throng of the streets. He had friends, a plethora of them but Noel longed for more. More connection, more trust, more anything. He was bored of having the same conversations and listening to the same drawled nonsense that the woman of New York would laugh into their glasses of champagne as he pretended the sweat under his collar from the price of the menu didn’t exist.

Relationships were a minefield for him, a constant state of confusion and regret. The taste of his recent breakup still bore a heavy weight on his shoulders. He perched within the crook of his favourite window overlooking the evening; lights of the city blurred against the glass like watercolour paint on fresh canvas. He watched the reflection of the burling smoke from the joint in between his lips rise and disappear through the open window. People below peppered the sidewalks like ants, scurrying through their busy lives. Noel missed the slow pace of LA and the blaring sun that made him tired. He could not sleep in New York. Too much noise, too much distraction, too much to think about.

He pecked the tip of his cap against the glass, suddenly wishing he hadn’t worn it so he could feel the cool window on his forehead. His joints were heavy as the Valium he’d taken before smoking started to coax him into relaxation, curling around him like a thick blanket. He inhaled another drag with shaking hands and awkwardly stretched to reach the opened window at the top, using all his energy to drop the roach outside.

“Fuck!”

Noel could’ve sworn he’d heard someone mutter, but the call of his bed was intoxicating. He tried not to make a habit of sleeping in the window crook, knowing he’d wake in the morning with a crick in his neck but as he turned his head in the direction of his bedroom, it seemed too far to even contemplate. He turned back towards to window admitting defeat and startled at the displeased face that peered back at him. “Holy shit!” he barked, nearly falling from the windowsill. “Dude, you dropped your joint on me! That shit burnt me,” the stranger huffed, arms crossing over his chest to display his annoyance. Noel, mouth agape in shock, took a moment to stare at the man standing on his fire escape before he gathered his senses. “What the fuck are you doing out there?” “Oh,” the man muttered, preening himself from awkwardness. “I-I kind of sleep here sometimes. It’s less scary than the street. I’m- I’m sorry, I’ll move my stuff.”

Although his limbs were still drowsy and clumsy, Noel found the energy to bump his cap from his head, uncaring at it tumbled to the carpet beneath him. He pressed his nose to the glass, peering down through the clouds of condensation from his nostrils on the window at the man scrambling to gather his belongings. It wasn’t much, a tattered backpack that looked heavy to carry and a sleeping bag that Noel could see was worn and thinning.

“How long have you been out there?” Noel gasped, concerned he’d never seen the man before.

“I-I’m not here all the time. Just sometimes. I like it here. The person who lived here before you used to play really relaxing music that would help me get to sleep”. Noel studied the face of the man on the fire escape. He seemed young, with eyes that were wide with terror and sadness. The lights glistened in them like they did through the window and Noel felt somewhat calm, as though he were doing just that. The man was short with a messy, russet head of hair that had lost its shape a while ago. He looked vulnerable, stood on Noel’s fire escape with his bag draped over his shoulder and the sleeping bag bundled in his arms.

“Ah shit,” Noel groaned, eyebrows creasing as they stared at one another. “Do you, like, want some food or something, man?” He winced at his own suggestion, an odd stirring of nerves at the pit of his stomach. Noel wasn’t an idiot, or perhaps he was for suggesting such a thing. He knew the dangers of inviting a stranger inside, especially one that had been camping unbeknownst outside his window, but the lazy drape of Valium in his system was enough of a cloak of ignorance for him to not care. If something untoward were to happen to him, Noel wasn’t sure he’d care too much.

“You’re serious?” the stranger gawped. He shuffled his feet against the metal grates of the fire escape and bit his lip. “You’re not like, a murderer, are you?”

“Shouldn’t _I_ be the one asking _you_ that?” Noel huffed a laugh as the stranger shrugged.

“Dude, you’ve fallen asleep in that window with it wide open a lot. You know how easy it would have been for me to come inside and rob you or some shit?” the stranger rolled his eyes, and decided it was best if the man in the apartment didn’t know how many nights he’d been there, listening and watching him bite back tears, knock back pills, and fall into a comatose sleep.

“Damn, trust me to have the fire escape that comes with a fuckin’ mother,” Noel smiles. He pushed open the window a little wider and signals for the stranger to throw him his belongings. The sleeping bag came first, and it was as tatty and thin as it looked. Noel suspected it barely gave the poor stranger any warmth, but must have been a convenient weight for him to carry. The backpack was as heavy as he expected, nearly taking him to the ground as it winded him.

“Fuck, what’s _in_ here?”

“My whole life,” the man shrugged nonchalant as he clambered awkwardly through the window. He tumbled onto the window crook and sighed in contentment as the warmth of the apartment pinched his cheeks a cherry red. The man, although now inside Noel considered _boy_ to be more appropriate, stood several inches smaller than him and he felt his usual possessive need to protect emerge. Still slightly spaced out, he pointed in the direction of the kitchen and trailed the stranger.

“What do you like to eat?” he asked, opening the fridge and wincing as the harsh fluorescent light invaded his eyes.

“I will literally eat _anything_. I’m starving,” the stranger explained, tentatively taking a seat at the island and watching as Noel pulled ingredients from the fridge.

“I’m not goin’ to lie, I’m pretty fucked up right now. Is an omelette alright?”

“That sounds amazing. I haven’t had one of those in years”.

Noel had the urge to ask questions of how long he’d been on the streets, how he got there and how he’d survived so long but the task at hand took all of his attention. The stranger took the moment of quiet to survey the apartment. It was cosy and warm but lacked personal touch. The walls were barren of photographs or artwork and the coffee table had one single used mug, no books or centre pieces. The only mess were a few pieces of clothing strewn over the back of the couch and the mug on the coffee table. It was a stark comparison to the chaotic energy that radiated from the stranger in the apartment, but he didn’t mind. He bit back a smile and watched as the man stumbled from cupboard to cupboard, chopping vegetables in between and tossing the omelette that he couldn’t wait to eat. When the food was nearly finished, he bent down to retrieve a bottle of wine from the shelf and took two glasses to the island. He popped the cork but stopped himself before pouring.

“Wait, you _are_ older enough to drink, right?” The genuine look of doubt on his features made the stranger chuckle.

“Fuck you, dude. I’m twenty five.”

“Holy shit,” Noel barked, pouring the wine and pushing one over to man in front of him. “You look a lot younger. No offence.”

The omelette was placed in front of the stranger and his mouth began to water. It was larger than he’d anticipated but was oozing with cheese and filled with vegetables, something he often missed living on the streets. He took note that the man with the apartment wasn’t eating but thought it better not to mention it and began to inhale the food. It was just as delicious as it looked. Noel gave him a little peace to eat, figuring that if was his first meal in a while, he wouldn’t want a nobody staring at him while he ate. He walked over the couch, taking a glance at the window crook and smiling. He gathered his rolling equipment and padded back toward the kitchen island, raising his eyebrows when he saw the plate was nearly empty. He silently began to roll another joint, placing a few nugs into the grinder and wincing as it squeaked with each turn. The stranger finished his food and watched Noel rolling his joint, feeling as though it was his cue to leave.

“Well, thank you so much for the food. I- I can’t repay you right now but-“

“Nah,” Noel tutted, waving his hand as though to silence him. “None of that shit, man. You’re good. You can hang out for a while, if you want? Smoke this with me, play some games or something?” There was a delicate vulnerability in his voice that made the stranger want to stay, as though it was him that was doing the favour.

“Sure,” he whispered, taking the plate to the sink and washing it before taking the chance and washing his hands and forearms, relishing in the feeling of the suds of soap slipping through his fingers. When he’d finished drying his hands, Noel was already perched on the couch and choosing what game they were going to play. The stranger picked up their glasses of wine on route and sat a little away from him.

“Have you ever played Fortnite?” Noel cringed at his own stupidity as the idiocy of the question hung in the air. “I’m sorry, man, that was stupid”.

“It’s okay,” the other man laughed. “You probably don’t spend a lot of time hanging out with homeless people in your apartment”.

The evening slowly rolled by, climbing into the early hours of the morning. The stranger took several drags of the joint, but more to please Noel than himself. He was as terrible as expected at gaming, but Noel didn’t seem to care, he just laughed a little and taught him how to play, as if they were ever going to experience this again. When Noel popped another Valium with the last drags of wine in his glass, the stranger didn’t say anything to voice his concern. A little while later, Noel was resting his head against the arm of the couch, neck bent at an odd angle, with half lidded eyes that were fighting to stay awake.

“This was fun,” he mumbled, mostly to himself. The stranger ignored the heat dusting his cheeks and quietly peeled himself from the sofa. Noel made a noise of protest that melted into a snore. The stranger placed both wine glasses into the sink and picked up his backpack and sleeping bag, awkwardly forcing them through the window. He winced as they crashed against the fire escape, but the mixture of drugs and alcohol coursing through Noel kept him asleep. He turned the tv off, erasing the last hint of light in the apartment and submerging them in darkness. With a particular fondness, he watched over Noel for a moment, appreciating how much more relaxed the man seemed when he wasn’t watching through the window.

“Goodnight,” the stranger whispered into the quiet of the apartment, before clambering out of the window.


	2. Two

_Fingertips chased the goosebumps mounting across his skin. The rising hairs tickled the hands that traced the outline of his biceps. A sharp jaw nuzzled into the soft welcome of an anonymous chest. Strands of coffee coloured hair tickled the cut of his shoulders._

“Ugh,” Noel awoke with a startle, mouth dry and the inevitable twang in his neck from the couch. His hands came to cradle his head, eyes squinting against the gentle rays of sun that drizzled the living room in a soft glow. Taking a moment to appreciate the calm, he tried to pursue the remnants of his dream but the pounding in his head drowned it out. He dragged his limbs to a sitting position; the room instantly began to shift and tilt as the equilibrium in his ear canals steadied. Trembling hands pulled at the smaller tuffs of his raven hair as he tried to calm the looming anxiety that always welcomed him the morning after he’d taken benzos.

“Water,” he muttered to himself, stumbling toward the kitchen and gripping the sink until his knuckles were a pasty white. Two stained wine glasses stood innocently in the basin, glaring up at him as Noel’s brow furrowed. He glanced at the living room once more, as though the memory of last night would be there waiting for him. Another glimpse at the wine glasses had him spotting the eggs on the counter that he’d forgotten to put back into the fridge.

“Fuck!” he gasped, lurching to the window crook and pressing himself against the glass. Pieces of the previous night began reconnecting in his memory as he surveyed the empty fire escape. Noel breathed with a sense of disappointment, feeling almost ridiculous that he’d hoped the stranger would still be there.

Noel cursed the shake in his hands as he poured himself a glass of water, the silence of the apartment feeling like a noose around his neck. The chair that the stranger had sat in was slightly pushed out of line from the others and a pounding in his chest had him scoffing at himself.

“Don’t be a fuckin’ loser,” he chided beneath his breath, stalking towards the shower and kicking the chair back into place. Under the spray of the water, Noel couldn’t help but remember how nice it’d felt to be cradled in the comfort of the wine and Valium, genuine laughter in the air as he watched the stranger fail relentlessly at any game Noel had suggested. He tried to wash away the sense of pride from feeding the hungry stranger, protecting him from the harsh New York evening when nobody else would. Noel _hated_ the streak inside himself that made him _want_ to care for people, be the only thing they needed to survive. It’d gotten him in trouble in previous relationships, having taken it too extreme and pushing people too far. The familiar taste of a bad recollection tickled his throat as his last LA relationship flashed through his mind.

“No,” Noel spat aloud, fist pounding into the wall of the shower as though to halt the intrusive thoughts. His free hand clasps the heat sensor of the shower, turning it slightly higher as each memory seared him. It’d taken him _months_ to stop seeing the blood on his hands. The shower was flooded with steam as the scalding water sprayed down on his back. His forehead was resting against the tiles as the faces of his friends when they’d heard the news flickered like a reel show in his head. Their shocked, frightened expressions made him sick to his stomach.

“Stop! Stop,” he moaned, hands intertwining at the nape of his neck as he tried to steady his breathing. He remembered his therapist telling him that fighting the intrusive thoughts with abrupt protest can help, but in that moment, Noel couldn’t escape the feeling that he was drowning.

He stayed in the shower until his back was red raw from the water and avoided his reflection as he dressed himself. He had a thought of making himself breakfast but the anguish in his stomach did little for his appetite. His first joint of the morning was half rolled when his doorbell rang. He peered through the peep hole to see Spock bouncing on his heels impatiently. Noel rolled his eyes before opening the door, Spock pushing through and barrelling into the apartment.

“Dude, where the fuck have you been?” Spock’s tone was light, but Noel could hear the concern in his words.

“Just here, man. Chilling,” Noel shrugged, going back to the island to finish rolling his joint.

“We haven’t seen you for like, a week, man. Not since you and Abbie-“

“I know,” Noel grunted, licking the paper and folding it over, motioning towards the window. Spock seemed nervous, as though he was tried to study Noel without him being suspicious. As Noel faced the window, thumbing the flint of his dying lighter, Spock quickly glanced over the apartment.

“You’ve just been here alone? All week?” he bit his lip as the spliff finally ignited and Noel let his head drop back, smoke swarming from his lips.

“Dude, who sent you this time? Kelsey? Aleena?” Noel joked, trying to lighten the situation. Spock shrugged with a smile, taking the joint from Noel’s hand and starting to smoke.

“Honestly, we’re all kind of worried, man. I know break ups are rough but you shouldn’t just be in here alone all that time, bro”.

Noel took a breath to observe Spock. He trusted him, he was always a good friend to Noel. Even when things had turned ugly in LA, Spock had been on the first plane over and helping in any way he could. He never looked down on Noel, not the way other people had.

“I wasn’t alone last night,” he mused, regaining the joint and trying to ignore the way Spock’s eyebrows rose behind his glasses.

“Oh yeah? Who is she?” he teased, patting Noel on the shoulder. He winced from discomfort, the skin still charred from the hot water. Spock smirked. “Damn, she did you like that, huh?”

“No,” Noel barked. “It was nothing like that. I- alright, fuck. This is goin’ to sound weird as fuck, alright?”

“I wouldn’t expect anything else from you, dude”.

“Asshole,” Noel rolled his eyes. He peered out onto the fire escape, letting the memory of the stranger standing with his sleeping bag in his arms comfort him. “I was smoking here last night, at the window. I threw my roach outside and it his this dude that was sleeping on my fire escape. Turns out he sleeps on there sometimes, y’know, cause it’s less scary than the street. He looked super tired and hungry and he was stood there all – like, small and shit. I don’t know, man. So, I cooked him some food and we smoked together and played some games. It was chill,” Noel shrugged, trying to play it cool despite the bubbling in his stomach and the pink on his cheeks. 

There was an awkward beat of silence.

“Dude, you let a homeless man in here? What the fuck?”

Noel was shocked by Spock’s ignorance. He inhaled the last of the spliff and threw it out the window.

“Fuck was I meant to do, man? This guy was like, shaking and shit. I’m not that much of an asshole,” Noel huffed, walking to the couch and turning the tv on. Spock lingered at the window for a moment, taking out his phone and sending a text to Kelsey.

_Noel seems off. Something up._

“Sorry, man. I’m not trying to be an asshole,” Spock apologised and Noel shrugged it off. “I’m just worried about you. Come out with us tonight,” he pleaded. Spock could see the bottle of Valium sitting innocuously on the coffee table and he sighed, not wanting to push his friend too much. He’d been down this road with Noel before and he knew how delicate the situation could be.

“I don’t know, bro. I’m not really in the mood”. Noel wouldn’t tell Spock that he wanted to be here, just in case the stranger from the fire escape decided to come back. The warmth in the apartment wasn’t the same with his old friend, and Noel wanted to feel that same warmth again.

“Come on, Noel. Please? Kelsey and Aleena miss you, dude. We all do.”

Spock could feel his resistance and tried not to push too hard. Once Noel had retreated into his shell and refused to go outside, it was a hard wall to break down. After his last LA break up, it’d taken them _weeks_ to pry Noel outside, even then he’d barely made it to the supermarket without breaking down.

“You can’t just sit here by yourself and take downers and smoke your joints, man. Please?”

Noel agreed, only to escape the suffocating desperation that laced his friend’s words. Noel _hated_ when he could tell he was hurting people but it was something he could never quit.

“Fine, but only because I’m running low on weed and need to stock up. I’m not staying out all night, man. A few hours tops”.

If Spock knew that Noel wanted to be there, in case the stranger returned, he didn’t say anything. He just faced the tv, hoping that they’d caught their friend slipping just in time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm really enjoying writing this so I hope you're enjoying reading this.   
> Any comments appreciated <3


	3. Three

“Remind me why I came again?” Noel huffed, shoulder grazing the brick of the wall supporting him as the hustle of the line for the club moved them forward. Spock was stood beside him, huffing on a cigarette and the slight smirk on his lips told Noel he was feeling buzzed. He’d managed to coerce Noel into pregaming at his apartment, knowing that they could smoke in there and wouldn’t have to conquer the four flights of stairs like at Spock’s place. Noel wasn’t as buzzed; the sharp sting of tequila had left a sour taste in his mouth and the flock of cackling girls to his left were infuriating him.

“Cause you love me, dude,” Spock grinned, throwing the cigarette butt on the floor and disintegrating it with the tip of his shoe. Noel scoffed in front of him, but the fondness was evident in his warm expression.

“Yeah, no – that’s definitely why I came. Totally not cause I’m out of weed or anything,” Noel teased, nudging Spock with his elbow before the familiar call of his name over the crowd had him tensing in anticipation.

“Noel Miller, where the fuck have you been?”

Kelsey and Aleena, two of his closest but admittedly boisterous friends, were shouldering their way through the line, ignoring the sulks and tutts of annoyance from the tipsy crowd. Kelsey threw herself into Noel’s arms, his tight embrace cuddling her as he rested his cheek against the crown of her head. She grunted and looked up at him, chin resting on his chest as she studied his nervous smile.

“Move,” Aleena ranted, prodding Kelsey to the side and wiggling her way under Noel’s arm. He squeezed her gently and laughed as she pulled the tip of his cap over his face. “Good to see you, hermit”. They were ushered forward by the bouncer and Noel had to remind himself that he was here for _them._

The minutes seemed to drag by like molasses, the heat of the club dotting the line of Noel’s cap with sweat. He cradled his fourth rum and coke in his hands, watching as the liquid crashed likes waves to the sides of the cup, teasing and threatening to spill over the rim as Spock splayed an arm around him, muttering too loudly into his ear about nonsense. Kelsey sensed Noel’s discomfort and dragged Spock to the dance floor to give him a moment of respite. Aleena dropped down beside him, and he shot her a fixed smile and downed his drink.

“You look distracted”, she sighed, leaning back onto the chaise they were sharing. Aleena had a way of putting Noel at ease and he revelled in the calm for a minute. He shrugged and looked at her through strained eyes, the flashing lights from the dancefloor bothering him.

“Just one of those nights,” he excused, unsure if he wanted her to prod the issue or not. Deep down Noel knew that Aleena would never _not_ prod. She cared too much.

“Spock told us about the homeless guy,” she pushed. Noel rolled his eyes and flared his nostrils. He couldn’t understand why he was being confronted for _helping_ somebody, for caring for somebody else. Aleena analysed her friend, peeling his trembling hand away from the empty cup he was crushing absentmindedly and intertwining it with her own.

“It wasn’t like, a big deal,” he shrugged, nervous to meet her gaze. “It was cold outside and he seemed scared and hungry and like, I was kind of fucked up and _lonely_ -“ he swallowed, embarrassed to have slipped his admission into the conversation. Aleena had that effect on him; he could tell her anything, even if he didn’t want to.

“What’s his name?” she hummed, rubbing little circles on his hand with her thumb. Noel blanched, looking at her with his mouth agape.

“I’m a fucking idiot,” he mocked, throwing the empty cup into the mass of plastic already atop the table and slammed a palm into his forehead. “I didn’t ask, _he_ didn’t ask, we- _fuck”_. Aleena snorted heartedly, leaning her temple against Noel’s slumped shoulder.

“You invited this guy, who had been _sleeping_ on your _fire escape,_ inside your apartment and spent all evening chilling with him. You _cooked_ for him and you didn’t even get his name. Damn. That’s a new level of cold, even for you, Noel”.

“Fuck you,” he sighed, biting his thumb nail as though he could figure out how to solve the equation.

“It’s not like you’re ever going to see him again”, she contemplated. Noel frowned, not liking the idea that the stranger was just something he could brush off, just _forget._ The claws of Noel’s possessive side were already rearing their ugly head, his chest puffing out slightly as though daring Aleena to challenge him.

“He’ll come back,” Noel grumbled, ripping his hand free of her grip and nodding toward the bar. “What you drinking?”

“Vodka soda, please”.

Aleena watched him stalk away, brushing through the crowd of dancing bodies as he desperately advanced upon the bar. She bit her lip, a nervous tick she’d tried to abandon years ago. She’d seen the way his chest had risen when she’d suggested that the stranger wouldn’t be back, she’d watched the way his eyes darkened as he’d faced her, silently confronting her. The familiar sense of dread boiled at the pit of her stomach as she observed his hunched form slumped over the bar slam back two shots before he headed back over with their drinks.

Several drinks later and Noel was leaning against Spock on the dancefloor. His movements were manipulated by the crowd, his sway influenced by their dancing. Kelsey was whispering into Aleena’s ear, who giggled into her drink. He fished his phone from his pocket and whined when the numbers blurred into an unidentifiable shape.

“Bro, I gotta hit the bathroom,” Noel slurred, pushing away from Spock to give him some momentum before he stumbled blindly into the crowd, hoping to find the toilet. His shoulder slammed into the door, the coloured incandescent lights feeling almost UV as he steadied himself and struggled to pull down his zipper. The walls of the urinal slanted in front of him, trapping him in their barricade. He wasn’t sure his stream of piss was hitting the urinal but the relief on his bladder felt too good to care. He zipped himself back up and blundered to the mirrors. For the first time that night, Noel looked at his reflection. It was slightly warped from the cheap plastic material of the mirror and the alcohol did little to help.

“Fuck, I’m faded,” he whimpered to himself, the realisation dawning on him. The lights in the bathroom toyed with his eyes as he snarled to his reflection, choosing to glare into the sink instead. The water was bitterly cold, nipping at his otherwise flushed skin. As the water ran over his hands, Noel could’ve sworn he saw something washing away, twirling around the drain like a liquid tornado. Lifting his hands from the basin, his breath hitched in his throat as he held his hands up against the lights. Under the harsh purple glow, Noel could see a thick, dark substance coating his quivering, skeletal fingers.

“ _No,”_ he cried, frantically wiping his hands against his t-shirt. The moisture from the sink dampened his shirt and Noel panicked, seeing the fabric darken as the substance stained his skin. Sweat was dripping down his neck, the sudden anxiety raising the temperature of the room tenfold. He fell back into the sink, hands splashing back under the water as more of the crimson stains tinted the water.

“Go away, go away”, he screamed, scrubbing his hands under they were tender and torn. No matter how hard he scrubbed, the substance wouldn’t go away. He collapsed onto his knees in front of the sink, the pressure of the water spitting droplets onto his head as he heaved heavy breaths. His chest was concaving with every inhale, his lungs full to their brim. The lights of the bathroom were mocking him as he felt himself shrink under their harsh luminosity. Noel didn’t register the door of the bathroom swing open.

“Noel!” Spock crashed down beside him, pulling Noel into his chest and trying to gain his attention. “Hey, hey, me. It’s Spock. You’re okay! What’s happening?”

Noel was near catatonic; eyes open wide but unseeing. He cradled his hands against his chest and Spock tried to pry them apart to see if he was injured.

“No,” Noel growled. “The blood,” he gasped, crumpling into Spock’s chest and choking on a sob. Spock eyes closed in resignation, tightening his grip on his friend.

“It’s okay,” he hummed. “You’re goin’ to be okay, dude. Just keep breathing for me, okay? Keep breathing”. Spock shimmied his phone from his pocket, sending a group text to Kelsey and Aleena.

_Noel freaked out in bathroom. Meet me outside guys bathroom._

They stayed on the floor, Noel slowly evening out his breaths for a while. When Spock could sense the worst of it was over, he guided Noel to his feet. He turned the tap off, keeping a steady hand on Noel’s elbow. Although he was still buzzed, the situation had mostly sobered him. A sense of guilt bore into him, knowing that Noel didn’t _want_ to come out. He only came out for him, for _them._

“Let’s get you home, man,” he soothed, helping Noel navigate around the toilet under they were back inside the club. The air was thick and heavy, the night was ending and the atmosphere said as much, a hint of desperation in the smell of the club. Kelsey and Aleena were immediately beside him, whispering and pacifying him, but Noel couldn’t hear anything beyond the thumping of the blood rushing through his skull. The taxi was painfully quiet, the unspoken reality sitting weighty between them as Noel stared out of the window, the anxiety attack slowly retreating to the dark parts of himself that he’d been struggling to keep hidden.

“We’re here,” Aleena whispered, gently shaking Noel’s knee as the four of them clambered out of the car. “Keys?” she asked, hating the way Noel’s hands shuddered as he gave the keys to her. “We’re all staying over tonight, okay?” Noel knew when Aleena was being rhetorical, but he still gave a sharp nod of his head as the they invaded his apartment. It made him nauseous how quickly they fell into their routine, their roles for when _this_ happened. For when _Noel_ happened.

Aleena was fussing in the kitchen, tapping her fingers against the countertop as four mugs sat beside the kettle. She found his stash of tea bags, scanning them to find the most calming concoction she could. Spock was at the island rolling a spliff out of his own weed; reminding him that he’d forgotten to restock his own supply which only added to the dread of the evening. He _hated_ not having his own stash. Kelsey was trapsing through the apartment with two blankets of Noel’s duvet in hand, throwing them down across the couch and attempting to make them a cuddling den.

Mugs in hand, the four of them snuggled beneath the duvets and shared the spliff. Noel was thankful that no one brought up what had happened; so grateful they understood that he couldn’t talk it right now. Their aimless chatter died as the spliff got closer to the roach and their drinks were drained. Kelsey fell asleep first, snoring into Spock’s shoulder. Aleena was next, her empty mug dangling from between her fingers and her shoulders slumped against Noel’s knee. Noel could tell that Spock was exhausted, his smile was sloppy and his eyes were barely open.

“Goodnight, bro,” he yawned, nestling into the pillow beneath him.

“Night, man,” Noel whispered into the quiet. He lay there amongst the snores of his friends, ignoring the tremble of his lips as the memory of the men’s bathroom replayed in his mind. He stared at his hands in disgust, he thought he was _done_ with that shit. He couldn’t tell how much time had passed and although he was drained, he knew he wouldn’t fall asleep without another joint or the Valium that Kelsey had conveniently moved from the coffee table. It felt as though he was trapped beneath the blankets, the affection of his friends keeping him stuck the couch as he settled in for a sleepless night. Until he heard the unmistaken noise that had him gasping and turning underneath the duvet to look at the window. He couldn’t see anything beyond the window for the cloak of the evening was too dark, but Noel could hear it. He _knew_ he could.

_Tap, tap, tap._


	4. Four

_Tap, tap, tap._

Noel swallowed the lump in his throat, squirming free of the blanket pinned at his sides. Aleena shuffled deeper into the duvet, having lost the support of Noel’s knee and he held a breath, standing taut for a moment, eyes wide and owl like, as if it would adjust his sight in the dark. The chill of the apartment breezed his skin, boxer shorts and an oversized t-shirt giving him little protection, compared to the heat beneath the blanket fortress.

_Tap, tap, tap._

He tiptoed across the apartment, a brief strike of thrill crawling the vertebrae of his spine, as though he were defying unspoken rules to sneak to the window. There, once again faced with his dejected reflection, Noel could make out the distorted outline of a man shifting on nervous feet around the fire escape. He stole another glance at the sleeping heap of his friends, feeling the excitement of their obliviousness in his chest as he reached to open the window. A gust of fresh air surged through the crack and Noel felt like he was directing an illusion. Wordlessly, he pulled himself through the window, naked toes curling as the almost frosty metal of the fire escape touched his feet. They stood quiet for a moment, a foot or two of tense space between them. Their eyes were connected as the rush of air tousled Noel’s hair and t shirt, collecting clouds of cold wind like a parachute beneath the fabric.

“Hi”, the stranger whispered, hands wringing one another.

“Hi,” Noel mouthed, almost breathless. “You came back”.

“I told you I’d pay you back”, he shrugged, rummaging in his pocket and withdrawing a small baggy filled with weed. He tossed it lamely at Noel, who caught it with a shy smile.

“You didn’t have to do that,” he chuckled, though he was thankful, knowing his jar was empty inside. The noise from the cars below faded into the background as Noel watched the stranger in front of him; he was trying to camouflage his pride, knowing he’d brought the right offering. Noel could see the heavy backpack on his shoulder, sleeping bag dangling from the zip and nearly grazing the fire escape.

“Smoke with me?” he murmured softly, gesturing to the baggy.

“Sure”.

It felt as if they were whispered to each other, their conversation lost in the wind, brushed aside by the breeze as it filtered the space between them. Noel held a finger, climbing back into the apartment and ensuring his friends were still asleep. He grabbed his grinder, papers and lighter from the island before crawling back onto the fire escape. The stranger had placed his backpack into his usual corner, sleeping bag wrapped around his shoulders to shield him from the wind.

“Aren’t you cold?” he asked, peering at Noel with a quirked eyebrow as if he were insane. Noel shrugged, dropping to sit beside the stranger, not protesting when he felt the gentle nudge beside him and the warmth of the sleeping bag drape over his shoulders. Noel gazed at him with a smirk and a playful glint in his eye.

“Y’know, to shield the joint,” the stranger rambled, the middle of the night glow disguising the blush that darkened his cheeks. 

“Right – to shield the joint. Ofcourse”.

Noel expertly rolled for them, the wind barely causing him any disturbance. He could feel the stranger’s stare on him which filled him with an odd sense of dignity. He sparked it with his broken lighter and turned closer to the man beside him, bare knees tucked into his chest. They smoked in silence, the noise of the night filling the space with all that needed to be said. Noel found a peculiar comfort in the stranger’s lack of conversation, as if the man knew he wanted the quiet. When the spliff was gone, Noel flicked the roach over the edge of the fire escape, and they watched it disappear in the chops of the gale.

“Tell me something,” he started, inhaling deeply and staring at the stranger with intrigue.

“Sure”.

“What the hell is your name?”

The stranger barked out a laugh, too loud against the gentle backdrop of the evening. Noel felt the sound echo across the buildings and the noise brought a smile to his face.

“Cody. My name’s Cody”.

Noel pondered for a moment, turning to face the apartment block opposite them. The name wandered around his head as he did so, as if he were deciding if he liked it or not. He decided he liked it very much.

“Cody,” he nodded, facing the man he now knew.

“Aren’t you going to tell me your name?” Cody pressed, blush still prevalent against his skin. Noel almost wanted to keep his identity a secret. He wanted to hide the small detail from Cody, feeling as though all Cody needed was a name, _his_ name, to unlock all of his darkest secrets. He liked the anonymity of being nameless, but Cody had trusted him with his and he felt compelled to do the same.

“Noel”.

“ _Noel,_ ” Cody whispered, “Suits you”.

“Yeah?”

Noel didn’t wait for an answer. He stood, unwrapping the sleeping bag from his body. His feet were numb from the cold and Noel found himself wishing his entire body felt that way. He wrapped his hands around the rail of the fire escape, leaning forward and peering over the edge. The view of the street was nostalgic for him, the cars small from his height. He felt like a child looming over a toy city, like his big hands could slam down and crash them into one another. Sternum pressed against the railing; Noel felt the air in lungs wheeze out gently as Cody came to stand beside him. Noel felt omnipotent with Cody there, vision aimed at the street miles under them. The wind had picked up, his t shirt flapping wildly around him, nearly covering his face as he bent further over the rail until a steady hand caught his hip.

“What happened tonight?” Cody inquired and Noel hated the sadness he could hear in the words. When Noel didn’t answer, he prodded deeper. “Are you okay? I- I was waiting for you, y’know, to pay you back. I saw your friends bring you in, you looked kinda out of it. Lost or- or really sad about something, y’know? They look like good friends, staying with you when you feel like that-“

“I didn’t feel like anything”, Noel interrupted, regretting it as Cody flinched back, vision falling to the metal grids. “Fuck, I’m sorry. I’m sorry, Cody. I just had a rough night. Too much to drink,” he lied, wishing he didn’t have to hide the rotten parts of himself. He knew he was a burden on the people inside, still snuggled up and unbeknown to their frantic friend on the fire escape with a man Noel could no longer call a stranger. The hush between them intensified and Noel wanted to scream, break the silence and rewind the entire evening.

“I used to have friends like that,” Cody reflected, nervous to show Noel a part of his history. “Before- y’know, I became homeless and all”. He spat out a bitter laugh and the taller man knew there was no humour behind it. Noel turned to face the window, watching the duvets rise and fall as his friends dreamed of things he hoped were nicer than the images that plagued his nightmares. A grip of guilt tore him apart; how could he resent the people that were constantly giving everything for him?

“Maybe they weren’t such great friends if they left you when you needed them, man,” Noel offered, already sure that he’d never leave Cody. Not when he needed him, not even when Cody didn’t _want_ him there. It was clear to him that Cody _needed_ him, even if he didn’t know it yet.

“Maybe,” the shorter man sighed, kicking dust from the metal grid with the tip of his tattered shoe.

“Do you want to smoke again?” Noel hoped, heading back over to the sleeping bag discarded in the corner.

“What time is it?” Cody panicked, suddenly aware how long he’d spent conversing with Noel. He pressed himself against Noel’s window, squinting his eyes to see the clock on the far wall of the apartment. “Shit! It’s almost five am,” he cried, tugging his russet hair.

“So?” Noel wandered, spliff nearly rolled.

“I- I have to be somewhere by six,” he muttered, clearly closed off about the situation. Noel didn’t like the fact that Cody seemed to be hiding something, but he rolled his shoulders to brush it off. _Don’t scare him_ he scolded himself.

“Stay for a little longer,” Noel offered with a tight tone, more of an order than a suggestion. Cody seemed to hesitate for a second before he silently sat himself beside Noel. He suddenly looked tired, stressed from the weight of his predicament. They talked about mindless drivel for a while, smoking as the sky slowly faded from its darkness, an elve settling across the dim clouds in the sky. Noel found his eyes growing heavy, lids hooded as the comfort of Cody’s presence lulled him to sleep. He fell into a deep slumber with his head collapsed against Cody’s shoulder, the soft hum of the man talking vibrating through him.

As eight am rolled around, the light of the morning sun brightening the apartment. Kelsey stretched into the couch and groaned as the pounding of the alcohol in her system berated her. Her moans of protest startled Aleena and Spock from their sleep.

“It’s fuckin’ bright as hell in here,” Spock complained, covering his eyes with the pillow.

“Where’s Noel?” Aleena yawned, patting the empty space.

“Noel!” Kelsey called, wincing at the volume of her own voice. The silence that answered her had them glancing at each nervously. “Yo, Noel?”

“Maybe he’s in the bathroom, probably throwing his guts up or some shit,” Spock hoped, getting to his feet and rushing to the bathroom.

“Close that window on the way past, it’s freezing in here!” Aleena shivered, curling more of the duvet around herself. Spock was reaching up the close the crack when he saw him.

“What the fuck!” he bellowed, pulling himself through the window and landing on the fire escape. Aleena and Kelsey raced to the window, dread looming over them. Noel was laying in a foetal position, skin ashen and limbs flaccid. He was trembling from the cold, toes a troubling shade of blue. Spock kneeled beside him, shaking his shoulder.

“Noel! Dude, wake the fuck up!”


	5. Five

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shit is getting intense

“Noel?”

Jaded eyes flickered under heavy lids, realizing the blurred shape in front of him. Noel could feel the pressure of Spock’s hand on his hunched shoulder, but the numbness of his skin deadened the sensation. Spock’s balmy fingers curled around his jaw, manipulating his neck until Noel’s sightless gaze lingered on him.

“You with me, man?”

Aleena and Kelsey’s hands were tightly clasped together on the other side of the glass, waiting for Noel to move. Aleena placed her palm against the window, the clunk of her ring clinking into the tension. Elicited by the noise, Noel lunged his neck sideways to search the fire escape. When he saw nothing but Spock’s apprehensive stance and the worried grimaces of the faces in the window, Noel groaned and let his head hit the metal of the fire escape again.

“Let’s get you inside, dude,” Spock guided, hesitation clear in his movements. It took the three of them to manoeuvre Noel through the window, his body seized up and freezing. Aleena was boiling the kettle and wrapping a blanket around him as he shook at the island. 

“What the fuck were you doing?” Spock interrogated, drowning in anger and concern for his friend. “You could have frozen to death, dude!”

“The sleeping bag was warm,” Noel mumbled, still half asleep and brain foggy.

“What sleeping bag?” Kelsey pressed. “You were just out in there in nothing but that t-shirt”. She rubbed soft circles on his arms through the duvet.

“Was with Cody,” he sighed, forehead resting on the island as Aleena placed the steaming mug of coffee next to him. Although his eyes were closed, Noel could feel the stares of his friends burning holes into the duvet. Rays of soft sun kissed his skin, thawing out his paralyzed limbs. The light cast a reddish blur through his eyelids as he thought about Cody’s knees brushing his own, Cody’s laughter ricocheting from the buildings, Cody’s hand on his hip.

_Cody._

“Cody?” Kelsey asked, the incessant tapping of her knee beginning to annoy him. Noel couldn’t bare to be sweating underneath their spotlight, their harsh questioning ruining the blissful memory he was trying to cling on to; his escape from the accusing atmosphere he _loathed._

Noel was sick of being the main suspect in everyone else’s vision of him.

He pushed himself away from the island, the cape of duvet falling from his shoulders and puddling at his feet. An unsaid _fuck you_ hung in the air as Noel’s eyes stayed trained to his feet, steering him into the bathroom and away from the investigation.

Spock, Aleena, and Kelsey shared a tacit glance, their mouths coming to sip at the steaming tea in their mugs; trying to stall on the inevitable outcome. It was Spock that spoke against the quiet, cringing at the upset lacing his voice, not nearly hungover enough to blame his rickety words on a turned stomach.

“So, who’s going to make the call?”

Inside the bathroom, Noel turned the lock, fortifying himself inside. He reached into the shower, turning on the hot water and shimmied out of his t shirt and boxer shorts. Facing himself in the mirror, Noel could see the blueish tint to his skin starting to fade as the shower swamped the room with steam. Watching himself disappear in the reflection as the vapor thickened, he dropped his neck to roam his stomach with squinted eyes. Apprehensive fingertips trailed the taut skin of his stomach, dipping into the curves of his hipbones. It wasn’t often that Noel found himself looking. He touched himself there enough, too much on the odd occasion, but he found that _seeing_ it brought him into reality whereas he preferred teetering on the edge.

His nails traced the thick, spindled scar that lay several inches across to the right of his lower abdomen. He gasped as a phantom hit of pain sparked through the scar. The risen fold of healed skin was obvious against the otherwise pure skin and Noel found himself snarling at it, wishing he could dig his nails through the flesh and tear it away. He’d almost preferred it when it was torn open, crimson spilling from the gash and dirtying his shoes. He despised the finality of the scar, knowing he was left with the tarnished mark.

“Bitch,” he growled, peeling his hand away and stepping into the shower.

Kelsey could hear the shower running and signed a thumbs up to Spock, phone in hand, who stared at the digits across the screen with an unsure look.

“Do we really want to do this?” he swallowed. “Maybe we’re overreacting? Or, jumping to conclusions too quickly,” he argued, more to himself than his friends that stood with crossed arms and expressions of askance. Kelsey sighed, busying herself with folding the blankets onto the couch, the mess of the room fretting her. Aleena collapsed against the couch, lip gnawing in between her teeth.

“Remember what happened last time that we waited it out?” she whispered, weary of Noel hearing them.

“The showers still running,” he offered, hoping to calm her nerves some.

“He’s spiralling, Spock. We owe it to him to _help_ him. I mean, fuck, we owe it to this _Cody_ guy to help him”.

“If Cody even exists,” Kelsey muttered. Brows raised; Aleena and Spock stared at her. “Think about it, okay? Why would this Cody guy, if he’s really so nice and sweet, leave Noel out there in the _freezing_ cold in nothing but a t-shirt in the middle of the night?”

“I guess it doesn’t make much sense,” Spock sighed, groaning in frustration as the number glowered at him. “Fuck, are we doing this?”

“We need to make a decision and quick,” Aleena panicked, picking at a stray thread from her jeans.

It was as though the secrecy from the living room was crawling along the walls in the apartment, slipping under the door of the bathroom and draping it’s suspicious claws around Noel’s throat. He shook the last of the excess moisture from his hair and stepped out of the shower. He reached to turn it off but paused. As quietly as he could, he opened the bathroom door and hurried to his bedroom across the hall, drying and dressing himself wordlessly.

Droplets cascaded from his unruly hair onto the shoulder of his shirt. He ignored the slight dampness of the socks on his feet and tiptoed past the bathroom, shower still running and steam festering and oozing out from beneath the door.

“He’s going to be getting out any minute,” Kelsey uttered harshly, frantic in her movements as she jogged her knee beside Aleena. “Just do it”.

“Do you know how pissed he’ll be if we make this call?” Spock contended, thumb trembling above the call button. Noel’s ears pricked as he listened to their hushed conversation. His heart thumped in his chest, an anger rattling in his fists as he spied on their dispute. He felt frenzied, like a desperate animal backed into a corner. He used the disguise of the shower to creak open the door again, head whipping around in search of a distraction. The toilet plunger, unused and innocent, lay beside the toilet. He grabbed it, lifting it over his head and throwing it with great force at the bathroom mirror.

The shatter of the glass was loud above the sound of the running shower. Noel darted across the hall, dipping to hide behind the door.

“Noel! Are you okay?”

He peered through the crack in the frame as his friends came stampeding down the hall, crowding into the bathroom in fear for him. He slid from his bedroom, rushing through the apartment. Thankful for the carpet that softened the sound of his heavy footsteps. He grabbed his phone from the island and slipped through the front door of the apartment. When the door was closed, he took off running as quickly as he could, nothing but _escape, escape, escape,_ flashing through his mind. It felt as though an invisible force was chasing him as he near threw himself down the staircase, floor after floor disappearing as if time didn’t exist. He could almost sense them catching him, the fear of such pushing him to run _faster,_ get away _quicker._

Inside the apartment, Spock kicked the toilet seat in anger and Aleena reached to turn off the shower.

“Fuck!” he roared, hands pulling at his hair.

Kelsey quickly scanned the apartment, her dampened expression enough to tell them what they already knew.

_He’s gone._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Honestly I listened to the Matrix soundtrack on repeat while I wrote this


	6. Six

_“Fuck is your problem?” “Fuck you”. “Excuse me!”_

Incensed voices hurtled past Noel’s ears as his shoulders crashed into innocent passers-by, his centre of gravity seemingly non existent as he stumbled in a pendulum like fashion down the street. Their furious faces blurred together until they were indistinguishable from the hustle of the crowd. The sun bore down on him, as though a child with an evil inquisitive nature were holding a magnifying glass over him, watching him squirm and sweat under the intensified heat. He could register the persistent buzzing of his phone in his pocket but ignored it; fearful of the consequence of his actions. A deafening honk to his right startled him, a red faced, middle aged man in the front seat of a taxi gesturing to him angrily.

“Get outta the fuckin’ road! What, you got some kinda death wish?”

The words felt unreal to him as he choked on a laugh and observed himself, limbs frozen as he stood paralyzed in the middle of the street. A flurry of honks followed the taxi drivers holler and Noel almost felt powerful amidst their frustration. Noel felt a strong, yet caring grip encase his biceps, gently urging him forward until he was hobbling over the curb and standing on the other side of the street. His feet moved subconsciously with the guide of the stranger, as though he’d forgotten how to move unaided.

“Are you alright?”

The woman was young, but slightly older than Noel, and had a kind-hearted face that was contorted with concern. He felt smothered by her stare and tugged his arm free of her clasp. She took a provisional step back and held her palms up to show she meant no harm. Noel had become the main spectacle of the street, people slowing by him to gawk with intrigue and caution; the glint of _fear_ in their eyes as he feverishly examined face after face.

“It’s okay,” the woman whispered, in an attempt to soothe him.

“Leave me alone,” he muttered, desperate to escape the cage of their glares. His lower body felt disconnected from the upper as he began to move again. The woman’s worried grimace disappeared into the distance as the crowd swallowed him, the interest fading from him as if the consensus of the throng had changed.

The buzzing in his pocket returned, quivering like a million miniature electric shocks biting into his thigh. He considered answering for a brief moment before a flickering neon light caught his eye like a fishing hook. The fluorescent outline of an indecently attired woman seemed out of place in the busy street. Noel found it bawdy but couldn’t ignore the pull that teased him, as though a cacodemon were behind the sputtering light, mocking and taunting him. He thumbed his ID from his pocket, forcing it into the vision of the stocky, bulldog faced bouncer who eyed it vaguely before waving him inside.

Noel shouldered through a soiled red curtain, the intensity of the club wafting over him in an instant. A stench of sweat and desperation hung in the air, thick with a sorrow that pressed heavy to his chest. A squelch cushioned each of his steps as the adhesiveness of the floor seemed to slow him. His anxious hands found the edge of the bar, sticky with spilled drinks and perspiration, gripping tightly and nodding towards the whiskey that sat derisively behind the bartender. Noel tried to ignore the clock glaring at him, sipping away the guilt. The whiskey burnt a trail along his throat like a match to gasoline and Noel was thankful for a brief elude from the confused numbness.

“Whiskey for lunch? You got some pain you need to work out?” a husk voice ribbed beside him. A slightly older woman, clad in nothing but a cheap set of lingerie that had seen better days, puffed a cigarette and smirked through a thick coating of cherry red lipstick. His nose curdled lightly at the smell and he tilted his glass toward the bartender to signal another.

“Not much of a talker?” she continued, a claw like prosthetic nail ashing the cigarette into the tray on the bar. “That’s alright, we don’t have to talk,” she giggled, her hand finding its way to rest on Noel’s bouncing thigh. The presence of her touch stilled him as he took another sip of his whiskey and turned to face her.

“Take your fucking hand off me”.

The sincerity of his malevolent expression had her snatching her hand back, shaking her confidence some. She swallowed the awkwardness and straightened the boning of her ill fitting brassiere. The crow feet framing her cerulean eyes crinkled as she eyed him, weary but fascinated. 

“You just here to watch, handsome?”

Noel winced as his second whiskey scorched his throat, slamming the glass back atop the bar and standing beside her, submerging her into his ominous shadow.

“You got somethin’ for me to watch?” he grunted, nodding towards a secluded booth at the rear end of the club. Triumphant, the lady looped her finger into Noel’s jean pocket, almost parading him through the club. Noel observed the wasteland as he let the warmth of the whiskey dissolve any disgust in himself. Several overweight, perspiring spectators were dotted around the club; some slumped in their chairs as three devastated women danced using the poles on the stage. A thick haze of smoke lingered in the atmosphere, somewhat filtering the dull and painful lighting. The seats were made of a crimson velvet, peppered with patches of dirt and stains that Noel preferred not to think about.

“Take a seat, handsome,” the woman purred into his ear, pushing him down, his body collapsing into the booth as though he were a ragdoll. She signalled to the bartender; a whiskey being poured for him. She giggled a sickly grin as she began to twist and contorted her body for Noel, whose face remained stoic. He ignored the bartender as the whiskey was placed in front of him, the cool of the glass a welcome distraction from the disaster playing out before him.

“You like that?” she whimpered, crawling onto the booth and straddling his thighs. Noel tipped his head back, allowing the whiskey to invade his throat as she grinded down against him. With his head resting against the back of the booth, he squinted at the ceiling. The woman on his lap stilled for a pause, cackling quietly.

“I could make a terrible joke right now – like y’know, is that your phone in your pocket or-“

Noel huffed, shouldering her away from his lap, the buzzing against his thigh returning. She crumbled against the seat awkwardly, quick to fix herself and preen her hair back into place. Noel pried the phone from his pocket, watching as the incoming call disappeared from the screen.

_18 missed calls_

He sighed, curling the phone into his fist and resting his mouth against it. The stench of a fresh cigarette overwhelmed him as the woman in the booth lit another to keep herself busy. The phone rang again, the screen bright against the dark backdrop of the club.

_Incoming call: Aleena_

“Fuck,” he murmured, thumb hovering over the answer button.

“That your girlfriend?” the lady sneered jealously. “She can’t be treatin’ you that good if you’re here with me,” she reasoned, palm once again finding its place on Noel’s thigh. Noel didn’t deject her and instead left the comfort of the hand there as he accepted the call.

“H’lo?” he mumbled, feeling as though the whiskey was just hitting him.

“Noel? Oh my god, Noel, thank god!” Noel cringed at the relief in Aleena’s voice. “Where are you? Are you okay?”

“’M fine,” he sighed, ignoring the pinch of the lady’s nails digging into his thigh. A wisp of nicotine invaded his nose as she curled closer to him and giggled into his ear.

“Who’s that?” Aleena pressed, slightly panicked. “Noel, where are you?”

“I’m okay,” he barked harshly. He was trapped between Aleen’a voice and the lady’s lustful whispers. “Just – fuck, I need to be alone for a while”. The lady sank to her knees before him, her chin resting against his knee. Noel hated the naivety that danced around her pupils and he found himself bringing his free hand up to her face to close her eyes. The lady flushed a deep shade of red, almost matching the velvet of the booth, before she blindly fumbled with his belt buckle.

“Noel, what the fuck are you doing?” Aleena yapped through the phone. “Please, tell us where you are. We can come and get you”. The mention of the others stirred something inside his chest, his mind replaying their conversation in the apartment. His lip twisted into a snarl as the lady on her knees palmed him through his boxer shorts.

“I’m not some fuckin’ lost kid,” he growled. “Just, leave me alone for a while, alright? You, Kelsey, _and_ Spock. Just- just fuckin’ leave me _alone_ ”. Noel ignored the quiver in his voice and stretched his neck to rid the tension.

“You know we can’t do that-“ Aleena began.

“I wasn’t fuckin’ asking,” he spat, hanging up the phone and trapping it in a tight fist as though he was trying to crush it. The lady smirked up at him, her fingers teetering on the edge of his boxer shorts. He lurched toward, catching a fist full of her hair and tilting her head back. He brought her fearful expression close to his, snarling into her ear.

“Someone in this piece of shit club must have somethin’ that’s gonna get me fucked up, right?”

“Yeah – yeah, I could get that for you,” the lady fussed, eager to please but Noel couldn’t decipher the fear from excitement. He turned his nose at her unctuous manner and released her hair. She crumbled down lower onto her knees and preened her hair once more. “What – what kind of thing are you after?” she asked, and Noel felt as though he was in a late-night diner as she knelt expectantly at his feet.

“Anythin’ that’ll make me forget this shit,” he shrugged, raising his hand at the bartender to signal for another whiskey. The lady struggled to her feet and Noel couldn’t stop the sneer that escaped him as her ankles jutted together in her high heels.

“I can do that for you, handsome,” she flirted, once again fixing the boning of her bra. “One of the others in the back, they always have stuff for occasions like this. Do – would you like them to come over, too?” she fussed, trying to pose seductively. The bartender placed the whiskey in front of him and Noel brought the glass to his lips, rolling his shoulder.

“Whatever”.

His dismissal had her tottering towards the corner of the club and disappearing behind a thick black curtain. Noel glanced down at his unbuckled belt and the reality of the situation sank heavy on his back.

“What the fuck am I doing?” he groaned into the half glass of whiskey. The ice was slowly melting into the golden liquid, diluting it some, and Noel found himself wishing to be outside, but he could hear the lady’s voice emerging from behind the curtain.

“He’s over here!” the lady bellowed. Noel wanted to tell her to shut the fuck up but the buzzing from his phone caught his attention again.

_Incoming call: Spock_

Noel felt overwhelmed as the lady’s voice crawled closer and the incessant vibrations of his phone shook the booth. Sweat began to roll down his neck, mirroring the condensation on the sides of his glass. His head was slightly bowed as he suckered in a deep breath, feeling like he was sinking in the eb of the pounding music.

“Here’s my handsome man,” the lady cooed, her claws curling around the perspired skin of his collar. He felt a second presence still in front of him. He squeezed his eyes closed and titled his head back with conviction, shotting the remains of his whiskey. The soft gasp from the new presence had him cracking his eyes open.

“Noel?”

“ _Cody?_ ”

**Author's Note:**

> So, here is the first instalment of my new story. Let me know if you'd like me to continue. Thanks! :)


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